How to Deal with Comparison: TweetChat with Letter to a Lady (L2L)

Hello Royalty!

This month has been amazing, and while it is an hour to the end of the month, I hope your February was amazing too. I must say I had it this February with being tired and stuff, and I will be talking about this is my upcoming newsletter (which will be sent out tomorrow night). So, if you have not subscribed to the blog, please do so we can have a full gist.

Today, I put up an Instagram poll asking if I should put up the Twitter interview with the L2L brand yesterday. 93% voted in the affirmative. Thank you! Yes, it was great, and I loved the questions and the engagements too. However, I know someone somewhere probably missed out on it. So I thought to share our conversation with you. Enjoy!

L2L: Awesome!!! It is 7pm. Lets meet @AlexandraZion Could you tell us about yourself @AlexandraZion#L2Linterview

ME: I’m Alexandra. I am a Writer, Spoken Word Artiste, and an academic junkie. I also consider myself to be an ambivert. I currently run two websites. One of them is a blog and the other is an online devotional. Their links are: http://alexandrazion.com  and http://deeprootsdevotional.online .

L2L: Nice to have you here @AlexandraZion You all should check her blog and online devotional. There is so much to learn.

L2L: The next question: Sometimes, we get jealous and express it in words and/or actions, but we are not aware of this. How can we discipline our minds/heart not to be jealous. #L2Linterview

ME: Hmm, I think “jealous” is a term that we use very loosely in the same subject as comparison. Although constant comparison of one’s self to other people can become extreme and lead to jealousy, but they are two different ball games. In terms of jealousy however, the first way to let go of that would be to acknowledge the wonder that people can be. For example, for person A to acknowledge that person B could have gotten to that much desired position by hard work and grit, and that they might as well deserve it. I say this because usually, when person A is jealous of person B, it’s because s/he thinks the other doesn’t “deserve” it, and this can be amusing. The next thing is to acknowledge the wonder that we are as individuals, because when we understand and believe the wonder that we are, we understand and believe the wonder that others can be. In this understanding, jealousy has no room. #L2Linterview

L2L: Acknowledge the wonder that people are! Understand the wonder that you can be , then you can understand the wonder that people can be and so jealousy has no place!!! Awesome #L2Linterview

L2L: Next question @AlexandraZion , Do you believe comparison stems from a place of dissatisfaction. If yes, please explain.

ME: Yes it does. However, the mistake we make sometimes is to always see dissatisfaction as negative. If we find ourselves quick to compare our lives with that of others, it should be a comeback to us to examine what is missing in our lives or what we cease to see in our lives. If we find something missing, the next sets of questions should be, “Is this what I need?” “Does my current phase require this?” Does this align with who I am?” If the answers are in the negative, then the person is wrongly dissatisfied. On the other hand, it could be realizing that we learn from person B to make the best of what we already have. #L2Linterview

L2L: Find what is missing. Evaluate if it aligns with your goals. If it does not, don’t stress! No need to be dissatisfied with yourself. You might even end up appreciating things about yourself that you never noticed!!!! The next question: when can comparison be justified? #L2Linterview

ME: Well, I think justified is a strong term to use in this sense. However, comparison is “justified” when a person is involved to learn or evaluate, rather than to be envious or hateful.

 L2L: Is there anything like healthy comparison, and how can it be differentiated from an unhealthy comparison? #L2Linterview

 ME: In terms of unhealthy comparison, when the comparison makes us less of who we are or makes us wink our noses at others or try to be exactly like them, we need to check it. From our conversation so far, I would say yes. To take it the textbook way, healthy comparison can be divided into two (not that there aren’t other ways), but these will suffice for now:

1. Compare what you have to what you deserve.

Humility is not shying away from what you deserve, contrary to popular opinion. When you find peace with self and with who we are, we should always do a comparison of what we presently have and what we need to reach out for

 2. Compare yesterday to now. The question should be, “How have I grown between there and here?” “What have I gained?” “What have I lost?”

In summary, ask as many questions of evaluation as possible. #L2Linterview

L2L: Comparison. Future and past!!! Hope you guys have been taking notes. We are open to questions now. If there are any questions you would like to ask, please do.

In the absence of any question for now. We would like to say a big THANK YOU to @AlexandraZion Thank you for this exciting interview. L2L really appreciates your time and effort.

ME: Thank you so much for having me! Final words: When comparison becomes condemnation, we have a problem. When comparison becomes evaluation, we are solving a problem. Thank you again!

Letter to a Lady (L2L) initiative is a non-profit organization with the mission to educate, empower, and mentor teenage girls as well as give sound and moral advice to young girls with pressing questions. They see a nation where teenage girls in rural, rural-urban, and urban communities are properly informed and educated on several topics on several topics that will equip and empower them to become women who are able to make better choices.

Thank you so much for reading!

Goodbye Royalty,

With Overflowing Love,

Alexandra Zion.

About the author
Christocentric. Academic. Writer. Poet

2 Comments

  1. This is a great read. Many of us “suffer” from what I’d call the disease of comparison. It might be subtle, but if it IS there in us, there’s a huge problem needing some curing. I believe if I know where I am to be at any point in my life, I wouldn’t see where someone else is as some-where I should be; or what they’re doing as what I should be doing instead.
    If we know God’s will for us at any particular point, we’ll be satisfied in ourselves.

    1. Gosh!
      That point is everything – “I believe if I know where I am to be at any point in my life, I wouldn’t see where someone else is as some-where I should be; or what they’re doing as what I should be doing instead.”
      Thank you so much!! ❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.