I am allergic to nonsense.
Hmm okay, let us not begin that way.
Let us begin like this:
Watching my nieces and nephews play is an oddly satisfying thing. It’s in how they scream and shout in voices drowned in ecstasy, and how they revel in their childlike hearts of throwing tantrums one minute and hugging each other by the next minute. But one thing I find myself saying from time to time is, “let him play with it too”. This is when I need Nephew A to take turns with Nephew B over a much desired fire truck. Then, I go on and on with different versions of the sharing is caring sermon. It’s funny and, at the same time, frustrating that I have to ring it in their ears each time that compromise is maturity, and is necessary for any relationship to flourish.
Where am I really going with all of this?
I saw the above video on Instagram the other day…say two weeks ago, and at that time, I had so many thoughts rush through my mind. I saw it on someone’s Instagram story and when I checked out the post, I realized that a few people I know had liked it. The comments section also had a lot of applause emojis, and I knew there was definitely a missing link. This post might step on toes, but that’s okay, we live in a world of difference and nothing will ever change that.
feminism has become a major part of today’s society. There are also a whole bunch of thoughts, interpretations and explanations of what the “movement” means. However, I will not dwell on that, because I already mentioned a few things in this post and that post.
Over the years, I have observed that every relationship works by compromise. This is not just about a man-woman relationship, but about EVERY relationship. It is why I put up the story about my nieces and nephews. Their childishness tells me that the ability to compromise is a thing of maturity. It comes with an understanding that life does not run by selfishness. But we live in a world where people are blindly partying and “gospelling” on the bandwagon of falsehood called ANYTHING GOES. And you know the sad thing? This bandwagon is hardly questioned. So guess what can be normalized? A person who wants someone to “share me with me.” Terrific, innit?
compromise is not weakness. compromise is not stupidity.
Before I go on and on about what I think and what I do not, let’s take a few steps to the Word – the living Bible. What is the standard that has been laid down for us before the bandwagon of falsehood came along?
“1. You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be difficult times. 2. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred.”2 Timothy 3:1-2 (NLT)
Did you see that part about loving only themselves? That is a description of “share me with me” – a reflection of the selfishness that has eaten deep into our culture today. People want to be accepted, compromised for, sacrificed for, but guess what? No one wants to be the one to do the same. When I shared on my InstaStory that I was going to blog about this, here’s what Onyinyechi, a fellow blogger, had to say,
You can’t find someone who is 100% comfortable with you and your craze.
And you compromising for your man doesn’t mean you’re stupid or weak
When you start to become a different person, like you start to do things that make you sad just for him, then that’s where it’s wrong.@iamyeychii
Compromise does not mean you have become less of yourself. So, let’s take a few instances. When a person becomes a Christian, a relationship with God involves compromise of certain habits and traditions, right? Similarly, in order for a student to sustain his/her studentship, s/he needs to bend to fit with certain rules and regulations. Hence, compromise is a choice, but it is also a necessity. Compromise is also a lubricant. In addition, let’s take from Onyinyechi’s points. What if your act of “compromise” makes you a different person? What do you do?
First, ask yourself what kind of person you are becoming. Sometimes, you will become a better person. Other times, you become less of yourself. Therefore, once you start to become less of yourself, you are no longer compromising; you have become a doormat. So, there’s a difference. Dear woman, our weakness is not in compromise.
Compromise is maturity. Compromise is a necessity.
Thoughts? Leave a comment, please!
With Overflowing Love,