Hey Girl Hey!
This conversation is here to stay. This one – where we talk about you, me, about ourselves and about the worlds we find ourselves in. And I kept thinking, do I even need to do a post again? But I realized that my people don’t say certain things for nothing. They say, “the yam that’s on fire which you keep talking about doesn’t get burnt” – now that’s a loose translation for what it says exactly in the native language. And that means when we keep at things in the right ways, we see results. It’s an undying principle.
I am still blossoming like you are, but today I write to you – the younger woman – from what I have come to understand in 20+ years.
You are an intentional masterpiece.
Girl, the one thing I need you to always remember is that God created you not by accident or incident, but with intention. And God is not an apprentice in this creation business. You are a masterpiece made by the master. How’s that for a thought? In this world, this knowledge will always help you find a footing. It will be there to pick you up when the days are gloomy. It will throw your fears out of the window, and it will be there to strengthen your confidence on the best days.
Now as emotional beings – all of us – including the Sasha fierces – best ure to define beautiful before someone else does, and the best way to do that is in God’s Word. You’ll need to do this as soon as you can because you never really know when you’ll need it. Sometimes, there’ll always be someone who reaffirms your understanding of beautiful – maybe a parent, sister, partner – whatever – but outside of them, let God’s definition of beautiful keep you standing firm.
You’ll come across some time keepers
In my penultimate year in secondary school, I was the “time keeper.” That means I was responsible for keeping an eye on the time and ensuring the bell went off at the end of class periods, beginning of break periods, and finally at the end of the school day. Sometimes, it felt good. Other times, it was tiring. Well, in life, you’ll meet the “shoulda woulda couldas” and “time keepers.” They come like this, “you should have a baby by now” “you could have gotten a degree last month” “you would not have to wait if you had blah blah blah.” Are they always wrong? Maybe not. Sometimes, they are people who see ahead of you and who know the “usual” play-out of things. Well, we understand that – it’s the circle of life, and I’ll say listen to them, but always learn to filter information. Don’t always take everything at face value. In the end, everyone is running an individual race.
You are already strong, and it’s your duty to let everyone know that
A friend once said to me, “You define the profession. The profession doesn’t define you.” We see it all the time – barriers are broken everyday in the world of careers. Someone launches into a business no one thought would ever profit and boom! it becomes the talk of the town. We can think along those lines when we think of womanhood. A good percentage of the world equate certain things to strength and power. It’s your duty and my duty to change that perception. The only way to do is by showing up and showing off. If there’s a job to be done, it’s your duty to prepare and to deliver. As bias as the world is, everyone still runs to results. If you have a few results, they may still try to shut you down. But if you constantly show up and show off, then your presence becomes the meeting point. Remember that.
Your body is your body – not a commodity, not an object
One of the things I’ve read over and again online is “how does everyone know a woman who has been raped but no man knows a rapist?” Well, that’s the world as we know it right now, but things are changing! Here are a few statements to keep at the back of your mind as you grow: Your body is not a toy. It’s not an object. It’s not a bait either.
You must support other women
When you look into history and some of the stories in our day, we see awful stories – women at the helm of affairs when it comes to women chattels, girls tricking their friends into being raped so they can “look good” to the boys, women plotting against other women in the workplace, women spreading in public what another woman told her in private, you get it. DO NOT BE THAT KIND OF WOMAN. Choose to support other women. I watch my nieces and nephews very closely – and I realize identification and association are powerful things. When the different age groups are in separate places, they make do with what they have. However, when they are all in one space, I begin to notice the 2-3 year olds play together, then the 5-8 year olds also play together. What’s happening? Identification and association – one of the underrated, yet most powerful ways to move the world forward. Be the woman who supports her sisters, girlfriends, nieces, aunts, mothers, mothers-in-law, daughters, daughters-in-law because she’s human and she’s woman just like you. It’s a principle that always works – when we see someone or something that reflects something we can identify with personally, it strikes us differently. By the way, support doesn’t always mean saying “yes” – it means helping people walk right paths and cheering them while at it. You’ll never lose your crown when you help another woman fix hers. Never.
Alright, I’ll stop here. God created you to love you and you are blessed beyond measure.
Happy International Women’s Day!
With Overflowing Love,
RECOMMENDED: Listen to my latest podcast!
This podcast is a mash up of poems written for the past three years in honor of International Women’s Day.