LIFESTYLE || My First Spoken Word to An Unfamiliar Audience

Hello Royalty.

Y’all! Like, this has been my mood since yesterday – I’m just “y’all!” So what happened, really? Yesterday, I got to perform poetry to a wonderful audience at a concert which took place in my school. When one of the members of the band, Voice of Resurrection, first told me about this concert, I did not know if I wanted to do it. For a while, I stalked my decision – I was in a world of what if and if this was that…, almost like second guessing myself because it was unfamiliar territory, and I was kind of already used to a particular audience. However, after consulting with God, who reminded me that one of the things I prayed for before traveling to begin my graduate program was a “stage.” I remember asking God for a platform; I knew how it worked – it just took one time to do it and do it well, then more platforms will keep opening up if I keep doing it. So, I remember asking him for that one time, and yesterday, I saw a physical manifestation of the answer to that prayer.

At the bottom of this post is the unfiltered video of my performance, and the lines of the poem. You’ll find me trying to tell the guitarists when to progress and when to tone it down. It reminded me of my first spoken word ministration on Covenant University Chapel’s altar as an undergraduate. I was elated; I felt many things could have been better; I think I read my lines too, but I can’t place a hand on it now. This time, I had to read my lines – first, I didn’t begin writing on time, and when I decided to write, I took my time – piecing every part of the poem together to resonate deeply with the theme of the concert: EXALT. In all of that and balancing grad school work, I knew mastering my lines was a façade, so I simply read the lines.

Alright, enjoy and leave a comment if you can! Thank you!

She had her mouths agape 
And her hands akimbo
It was the pressures of life 
That played her like a game of limbo
They sang to her “limbo, limbo like me”
And it’s not because she was weak 
But she found herself dancing with these pressures too
Each time she looked in the mirror
She saw nothing but a fool
A misfit for the cool
Kids
Kids there were..who loved everyone 
But who ran off at the very sight of her 
Teens there were who asked for autographs 
But shied away from her very shadow
She is me 
She is you
She is everyone of us who have tied our pleasures to our shores of sureties
Our approvals our treasures
Everyone of us have measures
Measures from the measuring cups of people’s opinions
Their words put us to tears faster than onions

(lol I actually just said that)


A misfit I called myself
Drowned in the ocean of other selves
My insecurities I shelved 
And forced myself to read like a trilogy 
An imagined genealogy 
A false identity 
I allowed myself to drink from the cups of mediocrity

How shallow I was to ignore the bed of peace
How hollow it must be to see your masterpiece 
live like the mistakes of the apprentice 

Forgive me Lord 
Forgive my unbelief in your art 
Forgive the doubts I’ve had in your works
Forgive my search for the gifts and not the giver 
Forgive my high shoulders and arrogant knowledge 
Forgive my foolishness
Forgive my heresy 
Forgive my every stupidity 

You say I’m forgiven 

I know I was worthless 
Yet still worth it 
Worth the piercings 
Worth the grace 
Worth the Cross and its race
The denial to turn stone into bread 
The back you turned against government positions and fame 
It’s not just because you were God and God enough to Choose 
It was also because of me 
Because you had a journey
Because you knew the cross was my freedom 
Because my creation will be meaningless without your resurrection
Jesus you did it because of me

So I stand to exalt your name
I put all my activities to halt
Because in you I am no longer an adult
With responsibilities to a fault 
A need to constantly be on the move
No 
With you, King, I am a child
A son a daughter 
Who has been called salt 
Of the earth

So, permit 
Permit the words that flow from my lips 
to be the ink with which you write
Use me 
Take me on a flight of trust 
Neck deep in your promises
Rooted in your love 
Use me 
Imprint your message of grace in my heart 
Help me be the sermon of your art 
Use me 
Bounded by the threads of your grace
Covered by the smiles of your face 
Make me a reflection of your fine countenance 

May I exalt you when the days are dry 
When babies no longer cry
When nations rise against nations 
And earth is in her worst situations 

May I exalt you till the very last breath in my nostrils 
Form a sacrifice of praise, with a fragrance to your heavenly window sills 
When I don’t know what else to do 
Lord, I want to exalt you 

Amen.

In all of this, I have realized something – God likes to pull us out of our comfort zones, and we don’t know the possibilities that abound until we yield to that pull. In most cases, as it was with my audience yesterday, it might mean moving from a familiar, cheering, hundreds-of-people kind of audience to moving to an unfamiliar, observant, tens-of-people kind of audience. But in the process, there is something being moulded – it’s called a testimony. So Royalty, come out of your comfort zone. Jesus is calling you to new beginnings, even if they seem small, remember there is always a blessing in it.

Goodbye Royalty,

With Overflowing Love,

Alexandra Zion.